Suzy-Kim Mecca

Question: Men, what does it mean to you to be present for your lady? How can you show up with even more strength and power?

Answer: It means I listen to her needs and concerns, not with my head, but rather my heart and soul It means I know when something is bothering her or she is not feeling well. It means I know how to get thru when she is evading or doesn’t want to talk. It means I will not let her get me off balance, I will always be there for her. She can be a megabitch , and I will continue to cherish amd adore her. I will make her feel safe, secure. She can be free to express herself in any way possible.

- James Archambault

Wise (and precise)  words. Also they way, straight into my soul.

Thanks James for giving me the words now to express what I need from a man.  Never could formulate it this way.  I pondered that and I realized, how could I? I can’t speak in male terms about needs I need from a man being a female.  Makes total sense now.  So maybe the answer to successful communication when relating to the opposite sex is to have a same gender person as an intermediary, kinda like a translator. Who knows… either way I love the words.

SuzyQ

Tweet This Post

In love and in friendship, yes, I am rebellious, stubborn, sometimes impossibly wild & untamed, sometimes just impossible. I don’t want to be tied down. I seek out freedom & love in the same breath. Why not? … Neither is the opposite of the other. But those who love me this way have my heart, my loyalty, my devotion. They live within my heart. They also experience the beauty beneath the impossibleness. Love is a synonym for freedom.

SuzyQ

Tweet This Post

I’ve made reference to this in a previous post on Ownership but I’m here to say it again. And again. And again. And again until you put me on mute and then I’ll find another way in.

The purest form of Love is FREEDOM. It’s that simple. You want be loving, set yourself free, set your Beloved free.  Engage with others in the spirit of freedom. Stop asking them show up in such a way in order to alleviate your fears, or keep you in the safe zone. Let your beloved be.  Too often I am told you have to give up so much of yourself in order to be in a “relationship”, that’s a load of crap. You have to be present, yes, you have to be curious, yes, you have to be open, yes but you don’t have to give up what nourishes you.  Why in the world would we ask of others to give up what makes them feel whole and alive in the name of love.  I see people, and have seen myself give up hobbies, life giving routines, sacred practices, friendships, joy, independence if only to barely alleviate this black whole we refuse to acknowledge that we call trust. All of your cartwheels, your banging and clanging, the ruckus you make to keep people in the holding patterns that you are comfortable with are simply to avoid the vulnerability it takes to build real trust when relating. Say the truth of what you feel, what terrifies you, say the thing that you believe makes you ugly.  Go ahead, be human, do that in that the name love.  And watch love lend itself to you in unimaginable ways.

And then you will be free. You will be free and your beloved will be free. And you will both be free to love. Free to breath, free to exist and expand more and more into who you really are. From this kind of relating, only deep reverence can come whichever direction your paths take.  Only then does beauty of relating match the beauty of a breathtaking sunset.  When we are free to shine in authenticity we are our most beautiful.

In the words of Khalil Gibran on marriage:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.But let there be spaces in your togetherness,And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loafSing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.And stand together yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart,And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Peace,

SuzyQ

Inspired from the teachings of Abraham & Anthony De Mello’s: A way to love

Tweet This Post

Tweet This Post

SuzyQ

Tweet This Post

The Secret to a Woman’s Heart…

This one’s been on my mind all week and I want to get it down on paper before I leave for paradise on Sunday… still, it’s a draft.

Gents it’s very very very simple

1- PAY ATTENTION. Listen. BE PRESENT. ASK QUESTIONS. DETAILS MATTER.

You seriously want IN to a woman’s heart???????  ASK QUESTIONS. Listen to the answers.  Pay attention to every detail.  You know how ‘they’ teach you that women talk a lot of, they ramble about frivolous things.  Well let me tell you, if you can’t learn to listen, she’ll never give you her heart. That chitter-chatter… that seems to go on and on with her girlfriends, when she does it with you and you listen, truly listen. The whole world becomes a magical place, like a fairytale. Our hearts melt open with each question that you ask, every detail you seek out, with every listening ear you lend our way, we belong to you more and more.

Here’s the thing… YOU CAN’T FAKE THIS.  For one, we can tell !!!!!  We know when a man wants to HAVE us and when he wants to KNOW us. HUGE difference and we ain’t havin you if you just want the prize.For two, you can’t this up if you aren’t really seriously diggin this chick.

2- Be present. See number 1

3- DO while we BE. TAKE ACTION, LEAD. Have it under control. We love it when you know where you’re going.

4- ROMANCE

Be ready at 8:00 wear black, strappy.

Pick you up after work, tell your boss you’ll be late tomorrow morning.

We’re leaving for the weekend, you only need something sexy.

Have sushi and a blanket in the car when we work late for a late night picnic, have coffee ready when you whisper us awake at 4:00 AM to go watch the sunrise. See number 3. See number 2. See number 1.

5-When we’re sad -See number 1

6- When we’re angry-See number 1

7- When we’re happy- See number 1

8- When we’re afraid – See number 1

I think that’s way more than enough to get you on the right path.

Much love to you brotha’s

Suzy-Q

Tweet This Post

It’s been quite the run. I am right now in the middle of the most amazing growth  opportunity I may ever have to face. And let me tell you, I’m getting taller every day and my heart is getting bigger and more capable of love.

Tonight, an old old friend made me dinner. I hadn’t seen him in months. I’ve been avoiding my guy friends. As we sat across from eachother catching up on eachother’s lives I found myself acting.  And he caught on. Finally he asked me, what’s goin on love? I’ve never seen this look in your eyes.

I cracked open.  The floodgates came tumbling down.  As I recapped the main challenge that I’ve been up against in the past years that he has been well aware of but that’s been coming to a climax, I saw him get suddenly quiet. It was a fierce energy, like that of someone steadying a ship in the middle of a storm.  I expected the usual cheer up talk, c’mon Suzy-Q you’re a fighter.  But I saw in his eyes he knew this was no Mickey Mouse Adventure. Instead he got up from his chair and came to me, let me find a place to rest my head and let it coming spilling out. The only words I heard were it’s going to be ok.  He humbly told me his own story and how there was always a miracle that happened just when he needed it.  He was completely present. Within minutes I found myself relieved, safe, hopeful. I regained my center, that strong spirit that knows EVERYTHING will work itself out. There’s no monster I can’t face with this kind of support.

If there is ever a skill you may want to master my dear opposite’s, it’s the ability to be fully present and steady when a woman is in pain.  It will literally make you a hero.

With a heart full of gratitude

-SuzyQ

Tweet This Post

a woman scorned
by so much undone
a raging fire
and yet not even a whisper escapes
drowned in understanding
she could never be otherwise
oh how you deceive
the loyalties at your door
day by day
pretending to be something
other
and did you love her for love
or was it to own
to have
to display
once a man curious to know every detail
now a man lost
and two broken hearts
a wrong to be made right
but a union to remain broken
broken by need
dragging her down by need
when it was she who needed you
and still you clung and clung and clung
slowly sinking her
choking her
extinguishing
by the weight of lack
a void that could never be filled
you must lead she said
over and over
show me
take my hand
lead me into our future
show me
and my heart is yours
forever

Tweet This Post

summer rain pouring down
like nails on my bedroom patio
I make a pact with myself
I will be who I am
I will draw joy upon my gifts
and bestow them to the world
the magical abilities of my fingers weaving letters into words
and to string them together into phrases
a magical ability to draw in the heart
to connect with so many
in a moment
to gain trust
to say the right thing
at the right time
to Affect those around me
I will commit to knowing these gifts
to using them
I will find comfort in my pain
the beauty that trails through my mind
a rampage of words
I will use them
let them spill from me in whatever way I can
I will draw courage from the earth

to lead with a loving heart
to inspire
to infect
to affect
with love
I will indignantly be
be
be
be
with love
in love
I will smile upon your face
upon circumstances
upon obstacles
I will say Yes
to dharma
to purpose
to being at cause
I will step into the puddle
and splash my feet under the pouring rain
Yes
I will get in the flow
stay in the flow
I will BE the flow
be
be
be
I will be
I am being
each moment
I am

Suzy-Q

Tweet This Post

I usually use organic and/or local produce and always the freshest possible.  This one works best if peaches are pretty ripe.

Equal parts green lettuce and chicory

The leaves from 3-5 mint stems

1 tomato

1 peach

A handful of tamari almonds

For non vegans add 1 hard boiled egg

Dressing: 1 tbsp olive oil &  1 tbsp of apple cider vinegar

Chop, toss & chew!

Suzy-Q

T

Tweet This Post