Women are moved by depth.

It’s why we seek out such deep connections with the people we relate to. It’s why historically we’ve had nurturing type roles. It’s why we feel so much compassion and empathy and MUST act on it.  We’re not typically,or innately, rather, driven to fix things – we’re more pulled to love and nurture and open ourselves deeper. Even our bodies are designed to experience depth. Did you think that was a coincidence?

Anthony Robbins teaches that fulfilling relationships are crucial to one’s sense of fulfilment in life.  Without fulfilling relationships (over time -obviously we all have periods where solitude is pre-requisite to re-connecting) there may be a sense of “something missing”or wanting “something more” in our lives.

Here’s the thing… if a woman is constantly seeking to deepen her experience of life, her relationship will be a crucial vehicle of her ability to experience more depth. If you, as a man, can’t go there with her, or better yet, take her there, she will either fulfill that need for depth on her own or go seek it elsewhere.  If you can’t sustain your presence or attention long enough to bring her to more depth – you will not be adding any value to her life. In my opinion, a relationship that adds no value to one’s life is a relationship in need of a re-vamp OR it’s time to walk away.

I once heard Tony Robbins speak to a young couple.  They were there with him because the woman had asked her man to join her. Tony addressed the man, (and I only understand now what he meant exactly), “She’s looking to expand and deepen her experience of life – if you can’t go there with her, if you can’t take the lead and bring her to more of this that she seeks, she will become bored with you  and eventually seek this fulfillment elsewhere or fulfill herself without needing you.”  The whole point to life is expansion – if you don’t get that yet – get it now! Nowhere is this expansion more valuable than your relationships.  The couples who not only survive, but thrive, are those that expand together, on-goingly.

Of course you could ignore that expansion is the basis of life. You’ll coast for a while and then something’ll bite you in the ass and you won’t know how to deal with it because you haven’t practiced expanding with awareness and then you can blame your parents, your wife, the government, the garbage man, taxes…. but you still will have cheated yourself out of the awareness that’s there’s nothing you can do about this truth.  Life will cause you to expand (Abraham Hicks) and you will either suffer the expansion or learn how to embrace it, or better yet, create it yourself and reap, reap, reap the benefits – especially, deeply, in your relationships.




*inspired by the work of Tony Robbins, David Deida and Abraham Hicks