– When we hung up I still felt like she wasn’t doing well, it was about 1am, I was already half asleep, in pj’s but I said fuck it. Got up and drove to be with her… she was practically in tears… she said “ why do you always know exactly the right thing to do before I can even think about it” –


This is a snipet from an email conversation from a friend about something he did for his girlfriend. Men (and women) think it takes diamonds and pearls and lots of impossible things to keep women happy. In reality, it takes very little. It takes ears that listen with the heart and the courage to act in spite of constrainging beliefs. All it really takes is true presence. Give a woman your full presence and she will be happy with you, day in, day in out for the most part. All we really want is for you to be present.

Now don’t get me wrong, being present is not passive. It requires listening, tuning in, it requires taking action once you have tuned in, sometimes it even requires getting up in the middle of the night to come and hold us. But it’s well worth the return on your investment. When you are present, we know it, we feel it, and we love it. In return we give you our heart, our insides, and all that oooing and ahhhing that motivates you to give us everything else we need. It’s an exchange really. You’re present, we melt, we smile so wide your heart cracks and ego bursts, we hug you (amidst tears, sometimes), we laugh in that way that melts you, oh and we even get naked for you. And what happens.. next thing you know, your still planning for that regular hot friday night date 4 years in, you’re packing a picnic at 9pm on summer night, you’re planning a weekend in Tremblant, you’re booking that vacation, and all that gravy stuff (well not gravy actually, that kind of stuff essential to keep the wheels greased so you can move forward). But in the end, you’re feeling good, your woman is smiling, your woman raves about you, your woman adores you. You’re the man. Why? All because you tend an ear with a present heart and all of your senses. From there, the world fell at your feet!

And Scruffy! You, my friend, are a one helluva of a man! You’re a superstar! Kudos to you for rocking a woman’s world heart and soul and making her yours to keep!