1. The wise fool
  2. People like that: using inclusivity to avoid harmful generalizations
  3. Exercise is a privilege, not a chore
  4. Hardness VS Strength
  5. A Story About the Power of Giving
  6. The Joy of Cancer
  7. fade
  8. Huddled against each other
  9. The Gatekeepers of Humanity
  10. anyway
  11. Calling all teachers
  12. Caged
  13. How does the light get in?
  14. Early Spring
  15. Stacking up with open hearts
  16. The skin you didn’t know you had
  17. To be sorry
  18. Dear you
  19. Worthless – an interlude
  20. One question
  21. the story told by the triad
  22. the weight of the world
  23. The New Fair
  24. Befriending One’s Soul
  25. pulse
  26. Stay close, listen for my whispers
  27. because (prisoner released from rules)
  28. you
  29. sometimes
  30. The Way Out is Through
  31. Givers, takers and…
  32. Tear down the dams
  33. drop by drop
  34. Rising from the ashes
  35. One of the faces of courage
  36. unparalleled
  37. Where are you headed?
  38. You don’t owe them anything
  39. Restitution
  40. Technicolor
  41. Female Beingness
  42. Haters Gonna Hate
  43. How to heal a broken heart
  44. rainwater
  45. It’s almost never about you
  46. empty fullness
  47. indestructible
  48. Summer Nights
  49. Sowing seeds
  50. Perched
  51. your heart shaped box
  52. The Hollywood Fallacy
  53. Only
  54. Pacing Ourselves to Ensure Success
  55. traces
  56. Are we there yet?
  57. claimed
  58. breathing life
  59. Learning to fly
  60. icy mornings and summer walks
  61. The race to finish vs progress
  62. unraveled
  63. The time factor in relationships
  64. The seeds of your empire
  65. “Shoulding” all over others
  66. Apples and Oranges
  67. It’s here! It’s here!
  68. What women really want…
  69. a man’s heart
  70. Relationship ROI
  71. fingertips
  72. purple
  73. coming home
  74. near and far, now and again
  75. If you dare
  76. Actions follow feelings
  77. tri-colored comfort
  78. the secrets she whispers
  79. Look for what you are looking for
  80. love first, question after
  81. You’re not gonna get it done all at one once
  82. The Power of Being Human
  83. slowly
  84. The importance of depth
  85. the man’s secret weapon
  86. What I know for sure
  87. open wider than the hurt
  88. to live with an open heart
  89. not an overnighter…
  90. LIFE STARTS CLAPPING
  91. Why is a great question, when used properly.
  92. So you want more?
  93. Sipping Orzo
  94. the space between the knuckles
  95. something worth seeking out
  96. grounded
  97. the ship and the ocean
  98. Surrender
  99. The handstand metaphors
  100. A different kind of pregnant…
  101. Shimmering
  102. Felipe
  103. Felipe
  104. 1+1=?
  105. when you’re not looking
  106. The other way around it?
  107. A Family Christmas
  108. Could vs Should
  109. love as freedom
  110. just a thought
  111. discovery
  112. wasted
  113. Unmarked Boxes (Rumi)
  114. The Violin and its Melody
  115. A wise man does first what a foolish man does last.
  116. Dance me!
  117. like a cactus in the desert
  118. What do I need to stop doing?
  119. Look forward, take one step closer
  120. Unconditional conditions
  121. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer
  122. Facing one’s fear
  123. holding
  124. How to Tell the Rain
  125. narrow country highways
  126. The Way to Love…
  127. Stomping at Puddles
  128. Magic Moments
  129. In sync with Yoga
  130. The identity label..
  131. The Daily Workout
  132. The Joy of Freedom (redefined)
  133. Without You
  134. In the Palm of Your Hand
  135. Liz Gilbert on Creativity
  136. Lost – David Waggoner
  137. A shortcoming,… really?!?!?!
  138. Spiaggia di Notte – Midnight Beaches
  139. Accountability
  140. Quick tip to make your life easier boys
  141. A way to live (while you’re still alive)
  142. The love of a woman…
  143. People Watching for the Soul
  144. moment to moment
  145. The ♥ Files
  146. The Guesthouse ~Rumi
  147. Rocking a Woman’s Heart and Soul
  148. Guy vs Guy or Girl vs Guy
  149. Going back to move forward
  150. it’s no wonder
  151. On Men
  152. Leave the world better than you found it…
  153. The BAD places we visit
  154. What really changes the world? Jessica Jackely nails it!
  155. The Power of the Big Picture
  156. walking away
  157. lovely knows
  158. wrapped in white sheets
  159. childhood memories
  160. morning shelter
  161. lips, perched on the edge of a cliff
  162. beyond words …
  163. An Empowering Metaphor
  164. Taking Back Control
  165. The Joy of Freedom
  166. Relating Outside Your Imaginary Lines
  167. More on trust…
  168. Eyes Wide Open
  169. Painting of the Mind
  170. my own meditation
  171. lovely,
  172. Divine Inquisition
  173. Common Sense Nervousness?
  174. a quickie for the boys…
  175. Expansive Intentions
  176. She sat there 772
  177. On Trust
  178. 2011!!!! Ohhh yeeahhhhhh!!!!
  179. Brene Brown on Vulnerability: A MUST SEE
  180. Befriending the Void
  181. standing still
  182. On Being Open
  183. The Observer Effect
  184. Seth’s Wisdom on Inspiration
  185. The Human Body
  186. Open Sesame
  187. The path between friend is measured not in miles but in memories
  188. From CYA to relating like a Linchpin
  189. Life IS messy. That’s the whole point.
  190. peace
  191. To Take it Back
  192. Have to, Have to, Have to…
  193. stillness
  194. Essence of a woman via Coelho’s latest 10 second read
  195. someone else’s feet
  196. Controversial, for sure
  197. as deep as canyon
  198. goodbyes
  199. On relating in truth
  200. effortless
  201. Endings…
  202. In loving memory
  203. The Art of Love
  204. Shades of Green
  205. Q&A with James Archambault
  206. …just me…
  207. The purest form of love
  208. Pebbles at my Window
  209. letting in
  210. So you want in?
  211. Everyday Heroes
  212. Through his eyes
  213. scorned
  214. Being
  215. The Alchemy of the Sun
  216. Crevices
  217. Crystal clear preferences…
  218. flaws
  219. By the Willows
  220. The Human Connection
  221. Smooth Curve Ahead
  222. time is timeless, a story is written in the heart
  223. Why not answer the call?
  224. Creases
  225. Virabhadrasana
  226. Move it along, just move it along!
  227. Notice it and Let it Go
  228. Breathing space
  229. Garden Angel
  230. No Calculated Risk
  231. Ownership
  232. Follow the Chaos… somewhere over the Rainbow
  233. What’s it all for? Really?
  234. Pacing & Leading
  235. Church Bells
  236. There’s a crack, a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
  237. The purest love, loves without having
  238. Childlike behavior: a “precovery” strategy
  239. Bridging the Gap Between Two
  240. The Deciding Muscle Grows
  241. The Missing Piece
  242. Essence
  243. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
  244. The Grand Canyon’s Heart
  245. The Church Bells said
  246. A good friends advice around “relationships”
  247. The Power of heeding to the voice of inner wisdom and using it to focus
  248. Presence
  249. Queen of Tides
  250. Reverie
  251. The Deciding Muscle
  252. Sorry, We’re Closed
  253. Chivalry. Dead?!?!?!… Think again!!!
  254. When creativity slips between your fingers
  255. Confessions of a Sex Kitten
  256. Think you need more money to perform better?
  257. Be the voice!

February 7th, 2011

I remember being 13. I had a crush on the neighberhood bad boy.  It was a very long crush. Kinda like the ones you see in the movies. I was 16 when I finally let go.  It was my mom who said, just love him period honey. Don’t do anything else.

Just because we care about people, doesn’t mean we have to DO anything about it. Just loving them, period, is enough.  Sometimes that’s all we can do, sometimes it’s the best we can do. It was right after that the man who would change the way I related to men forever came into my life. I learned some hard lessons that year.  They were good ones, that served me over the course of the last  15 years but they were tough to learn.

I learned to respect people’s advances, to respect their hearts, not to beat around the bush. And I learned not to play hard to get.  Which, in many respects, probably doesn’t serve me well but it does make me a woman of high integrity. Something that I very proud of. This means that when relationship exchanges start taking the shape of tit for tat or become fear based.  I’m out.  I just don’t participate in that kind of behavior. This means that I will tell you how I feel at all times.  This means that I usually focus more on telling people what I appreciate about them, what I love about them, how much I care for them the opposite. I would rather hang in there in my integrous ways through my own blood sweat and tears than to play ridiculous mind games that serve no purpose but to deteriorate today’s view of dating and relationships. Or, better yet, now, I’m  learning to just to walk away.

When I moved last year, I came across my highschool graduating yearbook, where I read the wisdom I had enscribed as a token of my highschool experience.  It read something simple like, ”don’t play games”. But my whole life I’ve always valued other people’s hearts as sacred. I’ve always believed to enter in a relationship, of whatever form, with another, means you have a human responsibility to make that space sacred for your exchanges.  I owe all that to the man who came into my life after my first crush.  I remember him telling me as we said goodbye, ”You have nothing to be sad about, now the bar is set really high, and that’s a good thing. ” I cried for three years after that. We always stayed good friends.  Life has taken on and off eachother’s paths several times since then.

Another thing I stumbled across in last year’s move was the singing Christmas teddybear he’d left in my mailbox one year.  After much fighting with my girlfriends, I, white knuckled and all, let them chuck him, and let that part of my life go.  Not thinking that’d ever cross paths again, even less, just shortly after that.

And so it is, I find myself, at 32, caring for a man that deeply cared for me so many years ago. And yet, still, our story remains unaccessible. Impossible. And the why of it all, which I thought was solved so many years ago, is an even bigger question mark than ever before.  I walked through the underground mall at lunchtime, on my way back from the shoemaker. Catching glimpses of the colorful spring lines in the shop windows, ivorys and pinks, floral print knits, remembering my mother’s words, so early in my romantic life, just love him period.

 

Q♥

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