1. The wise fool
  2. People like that: using inclusivity to avoid harmful generalizations
  3. Exercise is a privilege, not a chore
  4. Hardness VS Strength
  5. A Story About the Power of Giving
  6. The Joy of Cancer
  7. fade
  8. Huddled against each other
  9. The Gatekeepers of Humanity
  10. anyway
  11. Calling all teachers
  12. Caged
  13. How does the light get in?
  14. Early Spring
  15. Stacking up with open hearts
  16. The skin you didn’t know you had
  17. To be sorry
  18. Dear you
  19. Worthless – an interlude
  20. One question
  21. the story told by the triad
  22. the weight of the world
  23. The New Fair
  24. Befriending One’s Soul
  25. pulse
  26. Stay close, listen for my whispers
  27. because (prisoner released from rules)
  28. you
  29. sometimes
  30. The Way Out is Through
  31. Givers, takers and…
  32. Tear down the dams
  33. drop by drop
  34. Rising from the ashes
  35. One of the faces of courage
  36. unparalleled
  37. Where are you headed?
  38. You don’t owe them anything
  39. Restitution
  40. Technicolor
  41. Female Beingness
  42. Haters Gonna Hate
  43. How to heal a broken heart
  44. rainwater
  45. It’s almost never about you
  46. empty fullness
  47. indestructible
  48. Summer Nights
  49. Sowing seeds
  50. Perched
  51. your heart shaped box
  52. The Hollywood Fallacy
  53. Only
  54. Pacing Ourselves to Ensure Success
  55. traces
  56. Are we there yet?
  57. claimed
  58. breathing life
  59. Learning to fly
  60. icy mornings and summer walks
  61. The race to finish vs progress
  62. unraveled
  63. The time factor in relationships
  64. The seeds of your empire
  65. “Shoulding” all over others
  66. Apples and Oranges
  67. It’s here! It’s here!
  68. What women really want…
  69. a man’s heart
  70. Relationship ROI
  71. fingertips
  72. purple
  73. coming home
  74. near and far, now and again
  75. If you dare
  76. Actions follow feelings
  77. tri-colored comfort
  78. the secrets she whispers
  79. Look for what you are looking for
  80. love first, question after
  81. You’re not gonna get it done all at one once
  82. The Power of Being Human
  83. slowly
  84. The importance of depth
  85. the man’s secret weapon
  86. What I know for sure
  87. open wider than the hurt
  88. to live with an open heart
  89. not an overnighter…
  90. LIFE STARTS CLAPPING
  91. Why is a great question, when used properly.
  92. So you want more?
  93. Sipping Orzo
  94. the space between the knuckles
  95. something worth seeking out
  96. grounded
  97. the ship and the ocean
  98. Surrender
  99. The handstand metaphors
  100. A different kind of pregnant…
  101. Shimmering
  102. Felipe
  103. Felipe
  104. 1+1=?
  105. when you’re not looking
  106. The other way around it?
  107. A Family Christmas
  108. Could vs Should
  109. love as freedom
  110. just a thought
  111. discovery
  112. wasted
  113. Unmarked Boxes (Rumi)
  114. The Violin and its Melody
  115. A wise man does first what a foolish man does last.
  116. Dance me!
  117. like a cactus in the desert
  118. What do I need to stop doing?
  119. Look forward, take one step closer
  120. Unconditional conditions
  121. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer
  122. Facing one’s fear
  123. holding
  124. How to Tell the Rain
  125. narrow country highways
  126. The Way to Love…
  127. Stomping at Puddles
  128. Magic Moments
  129. In sync with Yoga
  130. The identity label..
  131. The Daily Workout
  132. The Joy of Freedom (redefined)
  133. Without You
  134. In the Palm of Your Hand
  135. Liz Gilbert on Creativity
  136. Lost – David Waggoner
  137. A shortcoming,… really?!?!?!
  138. Spiaggia di Notte – Midnight Beaches
  139. Accountability
  140. Quick tip to make your life easier boys
  141. A way to live (while you’re still alive)
  142. The love of a woman…
  143. People Watching for the Soul
  144. moment to moment
  145. The ♥ Files
  146. The Guesthouse ~Rumi
  147. Rocking a Woman’s Heart and Soul
  148. Guy vs Guy or Girl vs Guy
  149. Going back to move forward
  150. it’s no wonder
  151. On Men
  152. Leave the world better than you found it…
  153. The BAD places we visit
  154. What really changes the world? Jessica Jackely nails it!
  155. The Power of the Big Picture
  156. walking away
  157. lovely knows
  158. wrapped in white sheets
  159. childhood memories
  160. morning shelter
  161. lips, perched on the edge of a cliff
  162. beyond words …
  163. An Empowering Metaphor
  164. Taking Back Control
  165. The Joy of Freedom
  166. Relating Outside Your Imaginary Lines
  167. More on trust…
  168. Eyes Wide Open
  169. Painting of the Mind
  170. my own meditation
  171. lovely,
  172. Divine Inquisition
  173. Common Sense Nervousness?
  174. a quickie for the boys…
  175. Expansive Intentions
  176. She sat there 772
  177. On Trust
  178. 2011!!!! Ohhh yeeahhhhhh!!!!
  179. Brene Brown on Vulnerability: A MUST SEE
  180. Befriending the Void
  181. standing still
  182. On Being Open
  183. The Observer Effect
  184. Seth’s Wisdom on Inspiration
  185. The Human Body
  186. Open Sesame
  187. The path between friend is measured not in miles but in memories
  188. From CYA to relating like a Linchpin
  189. Life IS messy. That’s the whole point.
  190. peace
  191. To Take it Back
  192. Have to, Have to, Have to…
  193. stillness
  194. Essence of a woman via Coelho’s latest 10 second read
  195. someone else’s feet
  196. Controversial, for sure
  197. as deep as canyon
  198. goodbyes
  199. On relating in truth
  200. effortless
  201. Endings…
  202. In loving memory
  203. The Art of Love
  204. Shades of Green
  205. Q&A with James Archambault
  206. …just me…
  207. The purest form of love
  208. Pebbles at my Window
  209. letting in
  210. So you want in?
  211. Everyday Heroes
  212. Through his eyes
  213. scorned
  214. Being
  215. The Alchemy of the Sun
  216. Crevices
  217. Crystal clear preferences…
  218. flaws
  219. By the Willows
  220. The Human Connection
  221. Smooth Curve Ahead
  222. time is timeless, a story is written in the heart
  223. Why not answer the call?
  224. Creases
  225. Virabhadrasana
  226. Move it along, just move it along!
  227. Notice it and Let it Go
  228. Breathing space
  229. Garden Angel
  230. No Calculated Risk
  231. Ownership
  232. Follow the Chaos… somewhere over the Rainbow
  233. What’s it all for? Really?
  234. Pacing & Leading
  235. Church Bells
  236. There’s a crack, a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
  237. The purest love, loves without having
  238. Childlike behavior: a “precovery” strategy
  239. Bridging the Gap Between Two
  240. The Deciding Muscle Grows
  241. The Missing Piece
  242. Essence
  243. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
  244. The Grand Canyon’s Heart
  245. The Church Bells said
  246. A good friends advice around “relationships”
  247. The Power of heeding to the voice of inner wisdom and using it to focus
  248. Presence
  249. Queen of Tides
  250. Reverie
  251. The Deciding Muscle
  252. Sorry, We’re Closed
  253. Chivalry. Dead?!?!?!… Think again!!!
  254. When creativity slips between your fingers
  255. Confessions of a Sex Kitten
  256. Think you need more money to perform better?
  257. Be the voice!

There’s a lot of talk that goes on about “not changing who you are” to be in a relationship.  About staying true to yourself, your loves, your dreams, about being supported in them as a requirement for a relationship.  But then people say things like, it’s normal to let go of those things, to spend every waking moment thinking about and being with that person in the beginning.  And then what?

I’m not saying things won’t change, oh they will.  Your circles may change, how you spend some of your time.  You will grow, your perspectives will expand.  And those are great things, you want to change, you want  to embrace that expansion.  But why would you set aside the things that fill you?  That nourish you in the name of love?

I’ve been there, turning myself into a pretzel a myriad of times in the name of love.  It never made me any happier.  It only made me emptier.  I always thought I had to fit that box.  I just, without question adopted those beliefs.  I like you therefore I have to compromise that which I love in order to give you alot of myself, more specifically my time. As if time was an indicator of love. I love some people I haven’t spoken to in years.  I love some people I meet instantaneously.  The truth is, I’ve NEVER been a person with the potential to be tamed into being boxed in.  I have a deep rooted sense of commitment to the people I love.  I have a deep love for routine.  But I abhor being forced to be with others at the expense of time spent doing things that I love.  Or doing nothing.  I have always cringed with fear at the thought of my freedom being taken from me.  In all relationships, friendship or romantic.  In my romantic ones, it’s never been a question of freedom to seek elsewhere, but simply freedom to just be, to have breathing space bewteen myself and the other. I have tried to hammer myself into the status quo, to the expense of my own physical well being, only to realize that I’m much happier when I have room to breath. I have that much more of myself to give.  It’s so much easier for me to be joyful when I am with others.  The friends and lovers whom will respect that, let me come and go like the ebb and flow of the waves against the shoreline, have, or will, experience the deep and abiding love that I have to give.  I’ve recently given up on the hammer.  Maybe I’m not even a nail to be put in a rightful place.

And I can tell you that it’s freeing to stop measuring up to a status quo that feels completely insane and irrational to me.  I want to be able to give the same freedom to someone that I seek for myself.  Because love is a synonym for freedom.

What way of being are you trying to hammer yourself into ?  What do you think is out reach, that might just be in the palm of your hand if you just shifted the way you expected to show up?

In many ways, Khalil Gibran sums up my credo for relationships:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.But let there be spaces in your togetherness,And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loafSing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.And stand together yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart,And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Q♥

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3 Comments

MBT Sale March 3, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Thanks for writing worthful information about the issue. Im an admirer of your blog. Keep up the good work.

Suzy-Kim March 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Why thank you for the appreciation, I’m glad I can bring froward some insights that are of interest to you. And please, all feedback is welcome!

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