I can’t help but notice how I see and hear people relating to the subject of emotion. I think it’s fair to say that the common belief is that emotions need to be controlled. I actually had someone say this to me this week, “I can’t control my emotions.” I didn’t have the time to get into it but what I wanted to say was. Emotions are not to be controlled. They are to be heeded. An emotion is simply an indicator of how you feel and since you want to be feeling good most of the time, emotions that are considered disempowering or negative, are simply indicators that you are not feeling good in the moment that you experience them. If instead of trying to control it, you take it for what is, a simple indicator, like a light on the dashboard of your car, now you gain back control. Now you can do something about it. But if you try to control the emotion, hammer in into place without understanding what it is telling you, you remain disempowered. You haven’t heeded the message.
This happens a lot with anger. Our society tends shun anger. It is generally looked down upon. Reason being is that feel are afraid it, afraid of it going out of control. Anger is nothing but a means to regain control. I was having this discussion with someone just a week ago. Having been down in the dumps for many years, anger was a new thing for her. Let’s face it, we’re not taught that anger is healthy, we’re not taught that it serves us if we know how to use it. We’re frowned upon for getting angry. And so the normal response to anger within ourselves, after a long period of depression, is often to feel guilty or wrong and to try to make it go away, or hide it, or control it without really understanding it. In doing so, we drive ourselves back into depression. Think about it, what feels more powerful, depression or anger??? That anger is simply an indicator of a natural response to depression, it’s you saying, I’M TAKING MY POWER BACK. It’s very difficult when we’re depressed to get happy, but anger is much easier to access. And anger is nothing but a step upwards towards happy. If you don’t berate yourself for it and make a pit stop of it instead of long term disability. I encourage people in their anger, because I know that in doing so, it helps to release their own resistance to it and they move up and out of it a lot quicker. Recognize it and use it, choose what to get angry at? Say to yourself, I’m angry about this on purpose because it makes me feel better! I’m angry at this and that and for this and for that and blah blah blah blah blah!!!! And then, once you’ve felt empowered…say NOW, now I’m gonna get happy. Just like I felt better when I got angry, now I can feel even better about being happy! I’m happy about this and about that, with this and with that. Now do you understand a little bit how you can use the emotions that you soooo want to control as a means to feel better by using them instead of controlling them. Now do you understand how you can start taking control back?
I encourage you to try it, to let go of what you think you know you are doing well that you are not doing so well and try to do it differently. Cusiously… notice what happens?
The secret to all of this is learning to ignore the naysayers, the ones who get uncomfortable when you take back that control by getting angry, or even worse getting happy! Once you can do that, you can do anything!
(inspired from the teachings of Abraham Hicks of course)