During a weekend up north with some of besties last Halloween (2011) the subject of friendship came up. I had just met these girls back in the fall of 2010.
“To best friends!” they exclaimed in a cheer.
I was uncomfortable and didn’t want to pretend things were something they weren’t. The friendships were inherently new. It had only been a year since I’d known them, we were barley touching the tip of the iceberg. With the death if my best friend of many years still fresh, it was impossible for me to agree to this statement. Life had taught me that it takes long for the seeds of friendships to blossom fully. I was happy with these new women in my life – beautiful integrous souls with whom I shared similar values, but I wasn’t buying in the fairytale just yet.
On sunday night (over a year after that Halloween weekend), my girlfriend calls me from Otterburn park. “I know it’s cold and dark and raining but I need you to come and pick us up.” The man she’d only recently begun to date lost his keys during their day hike on Mont st-Hilaire. They were cold, wet and stranded. I was on my couch, in my pj’s, curled up in a blanket enjoying a very much needed weekend of rest.
“I’m on my way. Text me the address, I’ll call you from the car.”
This morning as we chatted, she confirmed what we’d both silently felt on the drive back on Sunday night. Our friendship was growing over time and these type of experiences is how we could test, measure and feel its depth. We were past the honeymoon phase. I was there when she was in a jam and vice versa.
I’d known this about friendships for a long time. My friends will testify that I like to lay a solid foundation with the people I’d like to have in my life long term. I’m clear on that and am willing to invest in these relationships.
I only recently bled the belief into my dating life (yup, thats how powerful the Cinderella and story is and I’m certain I’m not the only Cinderella wanna be that feels that way). As if the expectations of romantic relationships should be any different from the other relationships in our lives…
Think of your colleagues. Your children. Your clients. And why should it be any different within cupid’s realm?
Of course I’ve just planted a seed and there’s is more to say so stick around… part II is on the way.