One of my girlfriend’s said it really well this evening “If we invested as much time in our relationships as we did in our careers, they would thrive just as well”.
We aren’t taught this. It’s not a big part of North American culture, like working is. And so, for many of us, it’s easier to work than to love. Work is a simple equation. Applied effort + consistency = pay off (x). The same applies to every area of our lives, we just aren’t taught, through media, through socialization, through the education system that the equation is a multi-purpose one. The reason it works so well in the work place is that everyone else is following the same equation. But in relationships most people don’t apply this equation and thus many people are dissatisfied or unresourceful in their relationships.
If you go to the gym for an hour a day, five times a week your body will be fit. That’s work too. And you see the results. Imagine if you invested just that hour a day (not the 8 or 10 that you invest at work) of focused effort on your relationship? Learning your partner, learning yourself, reading a book, doing something different together, doing something old together, saying something you don’t normally say, just paying attention to nuances, or even simply listing in your own mind the things you appreciate in them…..
It doesn’t even have to be hard work, it just has to consistent applied effort and you will still get a (favourable) result; but obviously the more effort and focus you invest, the greater your ROI.