1. The wise fool
  2. People like that: using inclusivity to avoid harmful generalizations
  3. Exercise is a privilege, not a chore
  4. Hardness VS Strength
  5. A Story About the Power of Giving
  6. The Joy of Cancer
  7. fade
  8. Huddled against each other
  9. The Gatekeepers of Humanity
  10. anyway
  11. Calling all teachers
  12. Caged
  13. How does the light get in?
  14. Early Spring
  15. Stacking up with open hearts
  16. The skin you didn’t know you had
  17. To be sorry
  18. Dear you
  19. Worthless – an interlude
  20. One question
  21. the story told by the triad
  22. the weight of the world
  23. The New Fair
  24. Befriending One’s Soul
  25. pulse
  26. Stay close, listen for my whispers
  27. because (prisoner released from rules)
  28. you
  29. sometimes
  30. The Way Out is Through
  31. Givers, takers and…
  32. Tear down the dams
  33. drop by drop
  34. Rising from the ashes
  35. One of the faces of courage
  36. unparalleled
  37. Where are you headed?
  38. You don’t owe them anything
  39. Restitution
  40. Technicolor
  41. Female Beingness
  42. Haters Gonna Hate
  43. How to heal a broken heart
  44. rainwater
  45. It’s almost never about you
  46. empty fullness
  47. indestructible
  48. Summer Nights
  49. Sowing seeds
  50. Perched
  51. your heart shaped box
  52. The Hollywood Fallacy
  53. Only
  54. Pacing Ourselves to Ensure Success
  55. traces
  56. Are we there yet?
  57. claimed
  58. breathing life
  59. Learning to fly
  60. icy mornings and summer walks
  61. The race to finish vs progress
  62. unraveled
  63. The time factor in relationships
  64. The seeds of your empire
  65. “Shoulding” all over others
  66. Apples and Oranges
  67. It’s here! It’s here!
  68. What women really want…
  69. a man’s heart
  70. Relationship ROI
  71. fingertips
  72. purple
  73. coming home
  74. near and far, now and again
  75. If you dare
  76. Actions follow feelings
  77. tri-colored comfort
  78. the secrets she whispers
  79. Look for what you are looking for
  80. love first, question after
  81. You’re not gonna get it done all at one once
  82. The Power of Being Human
  83. slowly
  84. The importance of depth
  85. the man’s secret weapon
  86. What I know for sure
  87. open wider than the hurt
  88. to live with an open heart
  89. not an overnighter…
  90. LIFE STARTS CLAPPING
  91. Why is a great question, when used properly.
  92. So you want more?
  93. Sipping Orzo
  94. the space between the knuckles
  95. something worth seeking out
  96. grounded
  97. the ship and the ocean
  98. Surrender
  99. The handstand metaphors
  100. A different kind of pregnant…
  101. Shimmering
  102. Felipe
  103. Felipe
  104. 1+1=?
  105. when you’re not looking
  106. The other way around it?
  107. A Family Christmas
  108. Could vs Should
  109. love as freedom
  110. just a thought
  111. discovery
  112. wasted
  113. Unmarked Boxes (Rumi)
  114. The Violin and its Melody
  115. A wise man does first what a foolish man does last.
  116. Dance me!
  117. like a cactus in the desert
  118. What do I need to stop doing?
  119. Look forward, take one step closer
  120. Unconditional conditions
  121. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer
  122. Facing one’s fear
  123. holding
  124. How to Tell the Rain
  125. narrow country highways
  126. The Way to Love…
  127. Stomping at Puddles
  128. Magic Moments
  129. In sync with Yoga
  130. The identity label..
  131. The Daily Workout
  132. The Joy of Freedom (redefined)
  133. Without You
  134. In the Palm of Your Hand
  135. Liz Gilbert on Creativity
  136. Lost – David Waggoner
  137. A shortcoming,… really?!?!?!
  138. Spiaggia di Notte – Midnight Beaches
  139. Accountability
  140. Quick tip to make your life easier boys
  141. A way to live (while you’re still alive)
  142. The love of a woman…
  143. People Watching for the Soul
  144. moment to moment
  145. The ♥ Files
  146. The Guesthouse ~Rumi
  147. Rocking a Woman’s Heart and Soul
  148. Guy vs Guy or Girl vs Guy
  149. Going back to move forward
  150. it’s no wonder
  151. On Men
  152. Leave the world better than you found it…
  153. The BAD places we visit
  154. What really changes the world? Jessica Jackely nails it!
  155. The Power of the Big Picture
  156. walking away
  157. lovely knows
  158. wrapped in white sheets
  159. childhood memories
  160. morning shelter
  161. lips, perched on the edge of a cliff
  162. beyond words …
  163. An Empowering Metaphor
  164. Taking Back Control
  165. The Joy of Freedom
  166. Relating Outside Your Imaginary Lines
  167. More on trust…
  168. Eyes Wide Open
  169. Painting of the Mind
  170. my own meditation
  171. lovely,
  172. Divine Inquisition
  173. Common Sense Nervousness?
  174. a quickie for the boys…
  175. Expansive Intentions
  176. She sat there 772
  177. On Trust
  178. 2011!!!! Ohhh yeeahhhhhh!!!!
  179. Brene Brown on Vulnerability: A MUST SEE
  180. Befriending the Void
  181. standing still
  182. On Being Open
  183. The Observer Effect
  184. Seth’s Wisdom on Inspiration
  185. The Human Body
  186. Open Sesame
  187. The path between friend is measured not in miles but in memories
  188. From CYA to relating like a Linchpin
  189. Life IS messy. That’s the whole point.
  190. peace
  191. To Take it Back
  192. Have to, Have to, Have to…
  193. stillness
  194. Essence of a woman via Coelho’s latest 10 second read
  195. someone else’s feet
  196. Controversial, for sure
  197. as deep as canyon
  198. goodbyes
  199. On relating in truth
  200. effortless
  201. Endings…
  202. In loving memory
  203. The Art of Love
  204. Shades of Green
  205. Q&A with James Archambault
  206. …just me…
  207. The purest form of love
  208. Pebbles at my Window
  209. letting in
  210. So you want in?
  211. Everyday Heroes
  212. Through his eyes
  213. scorned
  214. Being
  215. The Alchemy of the Sun
  216. Crevices
  217. Crystal clear preferences…
  218. flaws
  219. By the Willows
  220. The Human Connection
  221. Smooth Curve Ahead
  222. time is timeless, a story is written in the heart
  223. Why not answer the call?
  224. Creases
  225. Virabhadrasana
  226. Move it along, just move it along!
  227. Notice it and Let it Go
  228. Breathing space
  229. Garden Angel
  230. No Calculated Risk
  231. Ownership
  232. Follow the Chaos… somewhere over the Rainbow
  233. What’s it all for? Really?
  234. Pacing & Leading
  235. Church Bells
  236. There’s a crack, a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
  237. The purest love, loves without having
  238. Childlike behavior: a “precovery” strategy
  239. Bridging the Gap Between Two
  240. The Deciding Muscle Grows
  241. The Missing Piece
  242. Essence
  243. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
  244. The Grand Canyon’s Heart
  245. The Church Bells said
  246. A good friends advice around “relationships”
  247. The Power of heeding to the voice of inner wisdom and using it to focus
  248. Presence
  249. Queen of Tides
  250. Reverie
  251. The Deciding Muscle
  252. Sorry, We’re Closed
  253. Chivalry. Dead?!?!?!… Think again!!!
  254. When creativity slips between your fingers
  255. Confessions of a Sex Kitten
  256. Think you need more money to perform better?
  257. Be the voice!

Just accept that.

I was talking to one of my best friends who recently moved away to another city to start  a new with her new hubby in another city. She was frustrated by the fact that new relationships with heartfelt depth had not yet manifested in the few months that they have been established. Beyond being frustrated she was pained. She wanted so much to build ties with people in her new community.

It’s easy when we decide that we want something to expect it manifest or be accomplished instantaneously. We all have an eager beaver part of us that wants what we want or need now. It’s even easier to be discouraged  and derailed by the delayed manifestation and interpret the delay as a denial, failure and experience as a result of this.

As we talked, it dawned on me that she was feeling pain because she was comparing the relationships she had there in the few months that they had moved with what she built over the span of over forty years. It had not been created all at once.  She had gradually over the years added to her life day by day building strong ties with friends and family that resulted in a a life abundant with love and joy and presence. There was no way she could create the same relationships over less than six months. More importantly, focusing on what was not happening (fast enough) kept her from being aware of what was happening. She had adapted well to the office change, to the double length commute, the hustle of bustle of their new life.

When I first started writingThe Joy of Cancer I felt like I was not advancing. Like I was never going it done.  I could not fathom that I would one day be working on the final drafts of my last two chapters. What I learned along the way is that a chapter is written paragraph by paragraph, you work at one idea and then another and segment to segment, you end up with a finished chapter.  Chapter to chapter – this is how you end up with a finished manuscript.  Once I understood that I stopped feeling bad about the fact that I hadn’t finished anything over the one day I had spent sitting in front of Javier, my beautiful Macbook. Instead, I began celebrating each paragraph and idea that I got down on paper.  And when I feel stuck or overwhelmed I remember that I just have to write this one paragraph or this one segment. And slowly but surely the train gets moving.

This new learning got me thinking about dating. I had often witnessed and experienced what felt like a trap of men deciding that they wanted to be in a relationship with a woman or me or vice versa and expecting it be so immediately. It always perturbed me. I thought of how many people out there must feel pain because they approach each new prospect with the high expectations of a “relationship” and feel disappointed or discouraged when what should be playful dating doesn’t live up to their expectations right away. How can it?  You’ve spent years putting feeding that bucket with dreams and wishes and desires. It needs a little bit of time to come into full being. It wasn’t the full relationship bucket it is in the current moment than it was when you first decided that’s what you wanted.

With anything you want, if you can accept that it will come into being one paragraph at a time, one segment at a time and the best thing that you can do is keep laying the foundation by working with where you are now in relationship to where you want to be. You don’t decide you want to run a marathon and it’s done. You have to run it mile by mile and if you keep thinking about the fact that you haven’t the finish line yet you’re gonna have a hell of crappy time getting there.  Isn’t running about being in the moment?  There’s nowhere go to but from where you are to the next step forward.  And isn’t each stride that generates that really good feeling?  I love the crunch of my feet on the pavement with each step i take when I run.  And writing a book isn’t just about the finished product – it’s in the actual writing that I can feel good.  Each great idea, each time I’m in the flow, that feels good !  And so it is with life and  relationships.  Enjoying each step towards where you want go is what makes the journey worthwhile and fulfilling.

Once you get to where you want to go, there you are. And you enjoy for a little while and then you want to go somewhere else and so on and so forth. If you only feel good when you get to where you want go you’re spending a lot of time not feeling good because you spend a lot of time getting to where you want to go. May as well start learning to enjoy the going.

Think of the act of making love. No one sais they don’t  enjoy the process of getting there. If anything you want the feeling to last and last …. well that’s how you can live if you started enjoying the getting there. Every journey has the potential for that kind of fulfilment. It’s a moment to moment practice.

Q❤

 

 

Banner Content
Tags: , , , ,

Related Article

0 Comments

Leave a Comment

Archives

Popular Posts

img advertisement

Archivies

RECENT POSTS