I could pretend that I don’t miss you
the words I hate to utter aloud
and that my heart doesn’t feel crushed
as my day goes along
its hums in the back of my mind
tears stinging my eyes when I have a minute alone and it sinks deeper in me
that I don’t feel like I did when I was 16
because I do, I feel like when you left when we were kids
and that younger woman, then and now, although they are more spacious in your life, somehow I am always in your heart
time after time, you are still present and you still open my heart better than any man I’ve ever known
I feel like, in waves, as if something has been torn from me
and not to question why you left again, when my heart opened
but instead of questioning
I smile through my tears at the sunshine
and the wonderful people in my life
I fill myself with the gift of my family
I open my body to bliss
to new experiences
I let love pour in and out of me
I open my heart wider than the hurt
and each time it grips me a little less
I relish in your bliss, the bliss you must feel,
now, wherever you are and as you move from place to place
I celebrate your courage and your mission
and your freedom,
I honour your journey
And I love you more than ever
I have let you go
♥