You & Me

We start out with the idea of what we want and if we have truly put thought into it then we have a very clear picture of what we want.

As it relates to the search for the ideal mate imagine you are a Hexagon and you are out there looking for another Hexagon. So you run into a few cylinders and you know those are not for you right off the bat. Then a couple more circles and you start to wonder if what you are looking for is even out there…. Then, one day you run into a shape with a straight edge! Could this be it you think? They have one side, could they have 5 more? 5 more sides?

So you go on a second date and then you kiss and things are going great and you find out they have another side! Holy cow, 2 sides! 4 more to go, this could be my match, then a month goes by and you find yet another side and now you are starting to seriously think that this could be what you have been looking for. You have matched up so well so far…. So then you move forward and you start to see differences and you are waiting for the other sides to match up and one day you see a trait or traits that makes you realize, no this is not a hexagon- this is a triangle (this could translate into, this person does not share my core values, I enjoy having fun with them, but I they are not who I see myself with long term) But then, you are already a month or two or whatever in and you are thinking, “but.. I really like their 3 sides. I mean I know I said I wanted 6 sides, but you know, what if there are no Hexagon’s out there? I mean I haven’t seen very many of them. Do they even exist- and actually if you start to bend the triangle in certain spots well then it “could” be a hexagon in it’s own cute way. Hmmm…..”

and so this is how I view relationships. People starting out knowing what they want, and knowing what they don’t want. It’s easy to ignore the ones that are not an obvious match, but then come along those that are almost a match or what seemed like a match up front and then when they realize it’s not a match, they try to force it, they try to solve the drama, they start making sacrifices for something that isn’t even what they really want because it looks like it could be- if – there were just a couple things different and so instead of saying, “Hey, this isn’t what I want, I am going to keep looking, they end up in a reactive relationship attempting to salvage the sub par relationship they find themselves in.

I am not talking about people who have been married 35 years- who want to make it work. I am talking about the dating drama 1-2 months or 4-6 months in that ends up turning into 2-3 years because the people thought that since there were 3 sides they should try to make it work.

Define what you want, be you and go out into the world. Spend time where your match would actually be and when you meet them you will know. You will not have to qualify or quantify. There will be no need to match up the sides- you will meld together and wonder how anything else was ever even a consideration.

Jairek Robbins @ Facebook