observer effect

So a few of us had a discussion today about some innovative ADHD treatment techniques derived from the Barkley Method. The following technique was suggested by a psychologist to a woman with a highly intelligent child tagged as having ADHD: to simply observe her child for 20 minutes a day. Simply and attentively observe as the child goes on about their business.  The technique is supposed to help foster a sense of being loved, self love and worthiness  in the child.

Some of my responses sounded like this. “Wow! Not just that but imagine how much you will be learning about your little one, how much more intimately you will come to know your child, and how much more you might understand about them”.  And then, it was immediately apparent to me that if we did  this with everyone in our lives, not just our children, how much more insight and understanding we would have of our loved ones.  Everyone present in our little circular discussion agreed. And how much more ease of communication would be facilitated from this process.  We would benefit as much as them. The surrounding people would also benefit by learning to the power of observation.  Just think of how much change you could create in your life with this simple process.  You would nourish a sense of curiousness, a very innocent childlike quality, essential to the sustenance of all relationships. Remember, how when you first fell in love, how curious you were about your partner? You wanted to know more and more. It’s only when we stop being curious that judgement takes precedence over the relating process and then it’s not too long before the wheels fall off.

I’ve long said we have the capacity to turn ANY relationship around if we choose to fully commit to that endeavor.  It takes dedication, heart, wisdom and a whole lotta patience, but it’s doable. I’m very excited to add yet another tool to my relationship revamp resources.

Of course, if I lived with someone I’d do this as a 30 day experiment immediately but I don’t hehe.  But I do know that I can step back and watch at anytime when I am in the presence of others and use the experience to increase the quality of my relating to them.  With the holidays right around the corner and lots of family time coming up, I plan to do just that. I’m curious to see what goodies I will find.  In fact, I think we could all put our observer hats, or should I say, glasses on this Holiday Season and use them to make things a little clearer, and thereby, a little brighter.

Lots of Holiday Love,