Words are powerful. How we use them has weight and impact on the shaping of our life experience. It’s subtle, but still very powerful. There’s a lot of information out there that teaches you how to use your languaging to affirm who you are and what you want.
… I am loved
… I am fit
…I am wealthy
…I am peaceful
…my life gets better and better everyday! my bank account gets bigger and everyday.
The thing is, if you’re believing in, expecting, or trained (by default) to look for a result different than this new languaging you are offering; chances are – you’re not gonna find the result you’re talking about. More powerful than language is feeling.
The first thing I always come back to, no matter the issue, is “how do I want to feel?” It’s never about what you want, who you want it with or where you want it. The intention at the root of all of the feeling you are seeking is almost always: “I want to feel good.” It’s why we do everything we do. We are seeking to feel good.
Now, besides being “feel good tramps” human beings are also proof addicts. “I’ll believe it when I see it!” is a commonly practiced attitude/belief, regardless of the language being offered. That’s tough to buck when what you’re looking for isn’t smacking you in the face. But you can use that addiction to your advantage by training yourself to look for what it is you are saying you want. The phrase “repetition is the mother of skill” has never been more applicable. The nature of life is that what you focus on expands and so the more you shift your focus on how what you want is actually showing up in your life, the more what you want will keep showing up.
Here’s one way to do it if you need a place to start.
Pick a couple of things you would like to see improve. I want to be healthier. I want to be fit. I want to be loved.
The goal of this practice (I say practice because it’s something you practice daily until you get really good at it, or it becomes second nature, like playing an instrument or riding a bike). Remember that you are your rituals and just like the shape your body is in reflected by your daily fitness rituals – they way you use your focus is reflected in the quality of your life experience.
At the end of everyday start taking score of how these things showed up in your life, what you contributed to creating that shift, and noticing how you felt.
So far example your getting fit list could go something like this: I worked out today. I did an extra set of pushups. I noticed that my abs are showing a little more. I added some extra weight. I felt really good after I worked out. I took a rest day today because I felt I needed it. A lot of my friends have started working out as well. I’m surrounded by people who are fit. if you’re having a hard time go general, like, I felt generally better today.
Your being loved list could go something like this: I got a lovely email from my brother today who was just checking in. That felt good! My partner was so sweet making dinner for me today. One of our clients was extremely appreciative of the service I provided today.
I don’t care if you only walked an extra flight of stairs or if the mailman was extra nice to you this morning or you added strawberries in your shake this morning because you love the tangy taste and that makes you feel happy (cuz guess what that’s a form of self love and that’s relative as well). All these things count.
The thing about the experiences we want is that most often they are there, or the potential for them is there, but we just aren’t trained to look for them. Our eyes are focused on a different result and we don’t notice all the other great stuff that is happening. Improvise, get creative with this process. At first it may be a small list of 1,2,3 “proof” items and they may seem insignificant. The goal of this practice isn’t for what you want to show up on your doorstep within 24 hours. Rather,it is to train yourself to look for what you want and the good feelings that come with. Pretty soon, you’ll notice yourself noticing how more of what you want IS actually showing up and you’ll be feeling really good about it. And it will build like a snowball until it’s second nature for you to get more and more of what you want. Soon enough, the words I am fit, I am loved, I am wealthy won’t just be affirmations of how you want to feel but of how you actually do feel. And, best of all, it will be because you trained yourself into it.
If you show up to look for the experience – the experience will find you.