“I love you. It’s not a weight you must carry around. I love you. It’s not a box that holds you in. I love you. It’s not a standard you have to bear. I love you. It’s not a sacrifice I make. I love you. It’s not a pedestal you are frozen upon. I love you. It’s not an expectation of perfection. I love you. It’s not my life’s whole purpose (or your’s). I love you. It’s not to make you change. I love you. It’s not even to make you love me. I love you. It’s as pure and simple as that.” Anonymous
Love is not a synonym for ownership, it is not because we love someone that they must be present in our lives, show up the way we want them to, that they must exist within the perimeter, we, you, I, or, better yet, the tribe believes they must. Failing to exist within this perimeter does not negate the love we feel for another. Or, even more so, the love we experience in the space we believe exists between ourselves and another, and the love that simply is, interchangeably, you and I. We must let go of the end result, of attachment, of what we THINK we know is right. Instead we must be guided, we must be like a river and flow naturally, we must allow ourselves to be, grown, moved, to the next level by the power of of a mere moment, or the many moments that can make up an experience. This natural flow, when trusted, will never mislead. It is only when we stop trusting the love, when we trust the fear, that we experience what we believe is pain.
The ultimate challenge of loving another, or loving, period, besides accepting that there is no OTHER, (We Interare -Thich Nhat Hanh) is loving, simply for loving, and not for what will be returned or where we will end up. Like loving the beauty of a sunflower, merely because it exists, and in that moment it brings you sheer joy. In these times of tangibility and measurability, practicing this ultimate form of non-attachment is by far the most, challenging , while at the same time rewarding, act of love.
This challenge, presents itself in everyone’s life under different shapes and forms, at times we may meet it with success, at times we may struggle. The starting point to be at ease with it, is to practice awareness. In the moment you or I, become aware, it is then that choice, and thus change, becomes available.