I think know someone who has experienced working really hard to achieve something really special or important to them only to find themselves utterly dissatisfied after having achieved it. They may even feel worse, because they thought this was the “it” that was going to make them happy, the goal, the cash, the relationship, the this, the that. Most of the dissatisfaction comes from the fact we are simply never done and we really just want to feel good. Read that article if you really jet want to cut the chase.
And unfortunately (in my opinion) we really can’t help the wanting more – whatever that it is, it’s human nature. Think of the female force to be reckoned with who first wants a relationship, THEN, she wants to get married, THEN, she wants the house, and Then a baby and another one… Are you getting my point yet? Or do I need to give you the career scale example?
The good news is, there is one thing you can get really clear on (besides just wanting to feel good) that will make all this achieving worthwhile and may help you avoid the post-achievment crash. One word: WHY.
WHY you want something is more important than what you want. More importantly, more than anything, it’s what will give you the clarity and resilience to get to where you want to go
Why is a great question, when used properly. When you know why you are doing something, why you want it so badly, for one, you’re giving yourself the juice you need to get to destination X AND you’re also more likely to be able to adjust as you go along if your WHY isn’t getting met, or, at the very least, minimizing the disappointment.
How will you know you’ve got what you want if you don’t know why you want it?
A friend of mine just worked his bare butt off, all the way to the rind and core to get somewhere only to find himself completely empty after having achieved it. Lost, not knowing where he went wrong, he’s putting the pieces back together. I don’t think he was clear on why he was striving so hard to get there. When our why is clear, we at the very least know why we feel so disappointed. I said to him, “go back, retrace your steps and pull the picture and feelings you were expecting to have as a result of your endeavour. Does it match what you got? where you are?”
I recently took up dancing again after 13 years, this time, with a very clear “why”. I know exactly what I want out of the experience, and I know that dancing brings that to me and out of me AND everything else that comes out of it is gravy. I’m not very good (yet), well ok, one of my “pro” friends sais I just need to work on my 5 lol – but, my “why” gets met every time and as a result, even though I’m not amazing (yet), i still feel amazing while and AFTER. I leave the experience with a sense of fulfilment.The picture of my now matches the picture I had for myself when I set out on this journey. Had I not been so clear on why I had chosen this means to achieving feeling good, I may have walked away with some disappointment.
Or, then again, maybe not, I have other tricks up my sleeve after all…. (O: