Life happens in patterns. Beginnings and endings. The four seasons. Sunshine after the rain. In our own human interactions, we tend to have our patterns. Think of Trump’s falls and rises. Think of someone who has a cheating pattern, a weight gain, weight loss pattern. We also relate to people in patterns, and more so in boxes.
Certain relationships traits feel comfortable to us and so we feel at home in them, wether they are good for us or growth promoting or not. Relating, outside that box may feel akward, strange, unfamiliar and as a result, maybe less intimate. Have you ever changed the way you relate to someone you know very well and felt very akward about it? Think of a time someone who maybe insn’t emotionally expressive, expressed some love and appreciation for you, it may have felt akward and clumsy even though it generated good feelings. Think of the first time you made you love to your honey, maybe the first time wasn’t as intimate as it is now (at least I hope for you, that the intimacy has grown and deepened instead of the opposite), as good as it may felt, you have felt alot closer to that person as you moved forward together.
It recently occured to me that we could enjoy time spent with someone, but still have a sense of strangerness. I wouldn’t disregard that as negative. Instead, I think it’s just an opportunity to expand beyond my pattern of relating box. As long as I’m feeling good, feeling like I can be authenic with ease, then that’s all that matters. I would let the sense of open curisiousity lead me into a state of expansion. Take me to places outside the imaginary box I’ve drawn to be the parameters of my world and the kind of people I relate with. I would welcome the gifts the opportunity brings.
Of course maybe that strangeness is just an indicator that your values aren’t aligned with the person your are relating to. In that case, best to just smile and walk away knowing that your heart is best given elsewhere. To someone who will hold it in a more loving way. Still undertsnad that it was an opportunity to expland the dotted lines of your imaginary world. Whether you choose to or not, is up to you.