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The 30 day diaries

 

 


The 30 Day Diaries

Snipets of my first ever 30 days of yoga with the awesome yogiMJ (lunchtime Fridays) and at Studio Bliss, a little gem of a studio I recently discovered. Should mention the fact, that since my issue is not about commitment, rather about managing my ridiculous sense of commitment, and learning to honor myself first and foremost. Making that my most important commitment, even if I were to only do 20 out of 30, I’d still consider myself successful. Simply because that would mean I cut myself some slack, gave myself a break.

It will be interesting the unfolding of this journey… a great way to wrap up the year.

(O:

So far, as of yet, there has been one day, when travelling all day that I only practiced bhakti, pranayam and shavasana. Still pretty good.

2010.11.23 – Today was day 9. Yin with Leah. At some point in wide legged stretch or lizard pose, can’t remember now, I lost my calm. Or rather, frustration took over. A recent conflict came to mind and the annoyance vomited all over my practice. And halfway through, she sais, there it is, the frustration is coming out on all your faces now, do whatever you can in the pose right now to stay with it. I reached for Kuan, my new, beloved friend, Godess of mercy and compassion. And so, it was the new mantra that got me through the last 10 breaths. I just kept giving it all back to Kuan. You deal with it. I have yoga to do. And body to attend to.
Interesting this yin practice, the opposite of my natural run away as fast as you can tendency. It’s really about working with what you have and making it as comfortable as possible, drawing inwards into the body, into the inner resources to find the good feeling place no matter how tight the space is. Alot of exploring.
Although there is resistance, I can’t say I don’t enjoy it.
Tomorrow is a flow class…. and my first lunchtime workout in a week… interesting see how i goes.

2010.11.25 Hatha yoga tonight. A late evening class. After a heated work day and an intense lunchtime workout, I coulda just lied there in savasana all class and it woulda been more than fine for me. But it took my mind off my frustration. And eased the stress from this upcoming Monday’s upgrade. It’s amazing how magical it is. So I’ve discovered that the thing about yoga mats is that they are indispensable for their supportive qualities. You can vomit all kinds of emotional garbage, frustration, anger, sadness, guilt, resentment on them and they just sit there and hold a soft, sacred space. No matter what, and, they even bring about gratitude, forgiveness, mercy, strength, relief, peace and even happiness. That’s more than any human, cat, fish or dog can do. Talk about indispensable. And here’s the secret, all those bad feelings, they come from you, and all those good feelings, they also come from you. The mat is just a space to explore and move in and out of them.

So I realize I’m gonna have to reach out to my resources for support over the next 19 days. It’s not as easy as I thought it was going to be. Or fun. Excuses come up, I’m tired, I don’t have time to make supper, didn’t buy groceries, it’s cold, I’m grouchy hehe. Tonight, I coulda literally sat at home and sulked (serious case of pms) but I’m sooo lucky that I have this autopilot when it comes to fitness routines and my amazing sense of commitment. Just get up and do it. No matter what. The good thing about yoga is that’s more about being than doing. Great thing, to just be.

2010.12.01 Day 16 I believe. My knees hurt.  Hehe they do.  I have been cranky about the getting to yoga all week, always relieved upon arrival but having a hard time staying present in my practice.  On Sunday, I literally agonized over how I was going to manage a healthy meal since I’d only had granola all day and still make to a friend’s within the hour after class. I almost went mad halfway through to class trying to shut my brain off. Going back and forth being grateful that the meal dilemma was actually keeping my mind off the real issue that’s been eating away at me. Then remembering I was in yoga class and had totally derailed from my core.  I wanted to get up and shout THIS IS RIDICULOUS, enough already, it’s one darn meal. Shut the hell up and just get over it! I felt like halfway to crazy but apparently it’s a normal part of the 30 day process.  The untamed mind’s resistance to the spiritual aspect of the practice. But tonight something magical happened, I’m hoping it’s like in running when you pass that wall where afterwards you can keep going and going and it’s like a drug you can’t get enough of.  Not sure though, because of the intense spiritual and transitional nature of yoga, there may always be times when resistance arises. Anyway, so I’m listening to Stephanie, whom I must be due to listen to it because she’s been subbing almost every class I attend these days, remind us of the importance of meditation and how it allows us to become observers to our own life.  Through that observation we detach and create space for choices in our actions/reactions.  And I have this wicked thought…. what if I embraced my idiosyncrasies and crazy behaviors (what’s a woman without some wackiness) and saw them in a different light.  If saw the beauty in them, the love in them, then I would be breeding more love and compassion into myself and thereby releasing resistance to the very patterns that seem to create pain, creating a way out or rather a way to let something else in.  And so there I was in an akward but very comfortable bent elbow Adho Mukha Svanasana (downdog) variation thinking to myself all the cute and sweet things about the behaviors I dislike the most about myself. The wheels completely fell off the bad feeling tendency.  No word of a lie, I came out of that class the happiest I’ve been helluva long time.  I don’t think that’s what Stephanie’s intention was (for me to a happy little nut hehe) but hey I’ll take that kind if relief anyway.  Now if I could find some relief for my aching knees.

-Fireyogi

2010.12.02  Day 17. Whoa! Major hotness in class tonight…. who is this man? I couldn’t focus until like 20 minutes in.  My eyes kept drifting, I kept hoping no one would notice. I couldn’t help it! It’s not everyday you see that kind of hotness in a yoga class.

Ok, back to the serious stuff. …Shoulder is still sore but tonight was better than last night. My spine hurts, lower back as well, went way too deep into a backbend last night, and I could feel the fear inside while I was doing it. The fear is that I won’t make it to day 30.  (I really really really wanna go all the way!) My knees are better though (O:

Interesting class, lots of technique, specification, lots of details. Very pitta type teacher, like me.  Learned how to take the weight off the top of the body by pushing in through our heels, we did this by pushing our feet into the wall while pulling our bodies away from the wall in downdog and warrior poses. Didn’t know how to do it downdog but was doing it naturally in my warrior poses, thaaaaaaat’s why I’ve been able to hold them so well.    Very cool!

I don’t know if it’s the yoga but I’m ridiculously extra HIGH on life these days.  I am so hoping that I can go all the way, see it through to day 30, I’m loving what this experience is doing to my body and mind.  Way better than weight lifting but with same, even better physical results.  I feel completely different about myself, difficult to explain.  A sense of openness, trust, strength, grace & beauty all at the same time.  It’s an embracement for the physical experience of inhabiting this body. Everyday I actually love it a little more. At first I thought it was the stairs, all that cardio, but I’m starting to see muscles develop in places I’d work and grit my teeth and swear to develop at the gym.

It’s magic this yoga stuff, inside and out. Really is magic!

2010.12.04  Day 20. Or it shoulda been.  Damm!!!!  My hip flexor completely jammed in yesterday’s class.  Was a really cool one, but a little too demanding after last weeks intense backbends.  Ah backbends!! As great as they feel, they bring you face to face with fear. I felt my self on Thursday night going to deep into one, pushing to hard against the fear. I knew it was overkill.  Gotta leearn to listen! listen! listen! So, today is bhakti day. The yoga of devotion.

Ok so I won’t lie, I’m terrified that I won’t be able to complete my 30.  How can I live with not living up to my commitments?  I’m a freak with this stuff. But I gotta keep it real. Chill the hell out!!!    Thank God tomorrow and Monday are restorative.

On a WAAY cooler note, was having conversation with a yogi friend tonight who just finished his 30 yesterday.  And he was telling me about how the real yoga is the the one you take off the mat.  Just like Stephanie often makes reference to.  And that’s just it, somehow, yoga weaves it’s way into your life, permeating all of your experiences with clarity.  On Monday, I had this really cool experience, kinda like when you slow down a DVD, really really really slow, until you zero in on a specific moment.  There, right there!  I was able to pause in the middle of a thought and catch myself right at the moment where I get myself into trouble.  In that slowness and clarity, it’s soooooo much easier to step waaay  back and make a different choice.  Which is exactly what I did.  Kinda like interrupting my own a synesthesia but without any NLP techniques.  And my yogi friend was able to confirm that’s exactly how it goes.  I LOVE IT!

Please, please, please let me the next  11 days!!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

-Fireyogi

2010.12.06  Day 22. Well, I actually don’t have much to say.  My mind is quiet. Kinda like the blanket of snow out in my yard right now. I guess this is a sign the practice is working.

If you want some juice, well, I was quite the feisty one today, lots of revved up, growling kinda of energy.  Had to constantly bring myself back to the gift in everything that showed up. But here I am, enjoying a cup of tea after Monday’s night’s restorative practice with Carina at Bliss, a quiet peaceful mind. Beautiful.

I am so grateful that the amazing Mat Boulé accepted to see me on such short notice, tomorrow bright and early we unpinch this baby so I can end the 30 days with grace and ease.  Not mention that I will also be able to feel the crunch of my feet on the pavement again, albeit, today’s workout on the stairs went a lot better than I anticipated, snow and all.

That’s all I got folks.  Exactly the intention I had set for tonight’s practice. Peace!

-Fireyogi

2010.12.06  Day 24. The phrase, everything  happens for a reasons is coming to make more and more sense to me. So I walk in and there is Stephanie again, subbing for a class slot I NEVER attend.  Backbends, she sais, today in a flow class.  Great!!! I am to avoid backbends until my hip stabilizes, how am I to manage this???  As we move through our vinyasas I realize my sun salutation varies in chaduranga.  I go all the way down and come uo in updog and everyone else never hits the floor. Interesting… so I go along the class respecting my boundaries as much as I can but take the time to ask Stephanie about the variation in the flow. She explains that my way is more ashtanga kinda of style. She then  goes on to explain a whole bit about not contracting the abs but using the power of the legs in order to let the abs decontract (and that’s how I would be able to the same flow back up to downdog as everyone else AND it’s easier on the back AND doesn’t being the body into fight or flight and we go into this whole conversation about how to move ot of flight or flight by the way the core muscles are used) B-I-N-G-O…. just the information I need, cuz I’m HUGE on pranayama.  This woman and I are meant to chat.  I love how big the instructors at Bliss are big on technique AND the spiritual aspect of the practice (none of this trendy yoga bullshit).

Anyway, I’m so grateful that I made it out there today.  I really had to pull my bootstraps up, woulda been easy to stay home since I am working at 9PM. As much as this  30 day thing is changing my life, I won’t be sad to get a break after Tuesday.  Man, I’m tired!!!! This is some serious dedication. Well worth the effort!  In body and spirit, the quality of my life has improved in so many ways. Peace!

-Fireyogi

2010.12.06  Day 28. Someone asked me today what have been the benefits of your journey?

I took on this challenge literally as a means to deal with the grief of the death of my best friend this past September and at the same time a broken relationship with someone who had played an important role in my life.  Grief is one of those funny things, no matter what people say or do the person grieving never seems understood.  I did have a handful of very special people that were present but I wasn’t able to, at the time, open myself up. I wish I could have but I literally needed to be pried open few people understood that. At some point in early November it became apparent that this was, naturally, affecting other areas of my life. I know myself well enough to know my throw-yourself-into-something tendencies. I saw myself working too many hours, working out to hard, dieting too much, pushing myself to hard.  And I decided, if I’m gonna throw myself anywhere, let it be it into something conducive to all aspects of my life. And I had been missing my deep spiritual practice’s. As my best friend so wisely taught me, it was time  do an inside job.  What better way to dive inward than the practice of yoga.

If you care to know, 28 days later, the grief is still there.  Even as coach, I understand that grief cannot be “cured”, it’s a time thing.  But  what I’ve gotten over the last 28 days far outweighs the efforts I’ve put in.  It’s way more than having dropped 2 or 3 dress sizes and getting these kick ass abs and arms that not other workout ritual has even given me in such a short period of time.  It’s been a  radical but subtle experience.

First, there’s this insane appreciation for the body. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so free in my own skin. I guess you’d have to feel that way when you can turn yourself into a pretzel and back hehe. Then there’s the amazing follow-through power in everything I take on, I mean, I know I make things happen, but I’ve taken the follow-through to a whole other level. And this new ability to slow down, press pause and zero in on what used to be autopilot mode.

Being more open, sleeping better, eating different, feeling different, moving different.  I’m stronger and  more gentle at the same time.  Calmer and more energized. Closer to my feelings and yet more detached from them. My intuition is at its peak. It’s easier to respect my limits, and even easier stretch my perspective. Opportunities are just dropping into my lap. New friendships, new experiences.  I’m not planning on doing the 30 day gig on a monthly basis but I would say on an annual basis yes.

My recommendation to you,  DO IT!  I would say get yourself some buddies cause somewhere around week three, you’re gonna need to reach for all the resources you have at your disposal to stay in the game.

Peace,

Fireyogi

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    The intake of milk foods was recommended to be helpful in the regulation of body weight [237,238], as well as metabolic parameters [239] Among other animal-derived food sources, milk healthy proteins are taken into consideration a highly nutritious food element with a healthy necessary amino acid structure and were reported as a great source of bioactive parts [240,241,242] The energy equilibrium of the body is controlled by numerous physiological devices that coordinate changes in between intake and energy expenditure, managing body weight around a collection factor that supplies the required energy to maintain homeostasis in the body [100,101] The systems controling food intake integrate various neural and endocrine signaling systems [102] Certain peptides may additionally assist improve the release of hormones recognized to stimulate muscle mass development, body fat loss, and exercise efficiency and recuperation. This makes them specifically attracting body builders intrigued in maximizing their training outcomes (1, 6).

  • HGH191AA benefits

    Dexmed-100 Fluid Dexmedetomidine 100 Mcg Amp Shot, For
    As an example, Laursen et alia (4) reported the bioavailability and bioactivity of nasal GH (0.05, 0.10, 0.20 IU/kg) in GH-deficient people and located that just the sc shot of the hormonal agent induced enhanced degrees of IGF-1 in the individuals. Intriguingly, provided the lower hGH exposure observed after dosing with CP024 compared to the sc shot, it appears that for an offered plasma level of hGH, intranasal dosing leads to a better induction of IGF-1 compared to a sc shot. This might be because of the hGH plasma profile more very closely resembling the endogenous pattern of GH secretion in healthy and balanced individuals. No severe damaging occasions were reported and no subjects withdrawn from study as a result of the treatment. After the nasal administration of CP024, 3-fold higher hGH blood degrees were acquired as compared with hGH nasal control. CP024 (provided twice daily) generated a significant increase in IGF-1 degrees up to 19 hours after administration, without any substantial distinction to those obtained after the sc shot of hGH.
    Relevant Products
    It was additional supplemented with 10% fetal bovine serum (FBS), 100 U/mL penicillin, 100 g/mL streptomycin. For both breeding along with the treatment, cells were preserved in an incubator (Heraeus, GmbH, Germany) at 37 ° C; moisture (90%) in addition to CARBON DIOXIDE (5%). If growth hormonal agent is provided to youngsters or grownups with normal development, that do not need growth hormone, major unwanted results may occur because degrees in the body come to be expensive.
    L Sodium Chloride Dextrose Shot( Ffs), Stamina: 09%
    Cells were dealt with and viability gauged as defined in Number 4. The formula for the synthesis of Ch-hGH-DOX (Table 3) was enhanced on the basis of PS, uniformity of dispersion, and ZP. In silico work presents with a good anticipating design of what may actually take place in the mobile environment. As a result, the effectiveness of the hGH fragment 176– 191 peptide was more assessed in in-vitro problem. If you see any type of various other impacts, get in touch with your medical care specialist. Together with its needed results, a medicine may create some unwanted effects.
    For those intending to boost their physical performance, peptides provide a range of systems to boost stamina and muscular tissue mass. Follistatin-344, for instance, has the potential to hinder myostatin, a healthy protein that restricts muscle mass growth. Meanwhile, MGF (mechano development variable) supports the fixing and growth of brand-new muscle fibers, leading the course for significant gains in muscle mass and toughness. Recombinant Insulin-like Development Variable 1 Long R3 (IGF-1-LR3) is an altered form of insulin-like growth factor 1 (IGF-1), a normally taking place peptide hormonal agent associated with cell growth and repair service.

    Bodybuilders and professional athletes commonly turn to HGH to raise lean muscular tissue mass, decrease body fat, and possibly boost healing. While some studies recommend that HGH might use these benefits, the proof is not conclusive, and the long-lasting impacts of HGH use for non-medical objectives continue to be unclear. Human growth hormones are likewise used by body builders and athletes to prevent or decrease aging. Nonetheless, there is very little evidence that human growth hormonal agents decrease indicators of aging, but HGH may make you really feel younger and extra energised. Somatrem and somatropin are manufactured versions of human development hormone.
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    This medicine should be made use of during pregnancy only if plainly required. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan on conceiving. Considerably enhances high quality muscular tissue mass by generating a state of muscular tissue hyperplasia in the MUSCLE IN WHICH ITS INJECTED. Boosts metabolism and vascularity and aids weight loss, pre-contest product.
    Several of our people have actually experienced feeling numb in the hands, or else called carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). Remarkably, our medical professionals have not observed any reductions in T3 levels in clients making use of HGH. Hence, it is feasible that such a T3-inhibiting impact may just happen in HGH-deficient people (theory). This is surprising taking into consideration T3 is a potent fat-burning hormonal agent, and HGH also boosts lipolysis (weight loss).
    If you’re receiving treatment for uncommon HGH degrees, it is very important to see your carrier on a regular basis to make sure your treatment is working. Make sure to reference your lab’s regular array on your laboratory report when examining your results. If you have any kind of concerns concerning your results, talk with your healthcare provider.
    Common Grown-up Dose For:

    Additionally, HGH is regarded to be able to stand up to several typical indicators of ageing, such as bone delicacy, a reduction in the ability to think plainly and remember skin deterioration, and muscular weakness. In its function as an anabolic representative, HGH has actually been made use of by rivals in sporting activities considering that a minimum of and has been banned by the IOC and NCAA. Conventional urine analysis does not identify doping with HGH, so the ban was not enforced up until the early 2000s, when blood tests that might compare natural and man-made HGH were beginning to be developed. Blood tests carried out by WADA at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, Greece, targeted mostly HGH. [3] Use the medicine for efficiency enhancement is not presently authorized by the FDA. In silico job offers with a great anticipating model of what may actually happen in the mobile atmosphere. Therefore, the efficacy of the hGH piece 176– 191 peptide was further reviewed in in-vitro problem.
    Ghrp-6 (Growth Hormonal Agent Launching Peptide- 5 Mg X 1 Vial– Remarkable Peptide
    Human Development Hormone (HGH191AA Peptide Vial 10iu) promotes healthy protein metabolic process and muscular tissue development, which enhances endurance and workout ability [5] With an extensive sector experience of 10 years, we have actually positioned ourselves as one of the eminent investors and vendors of Wellness Supplements. Our selection contains Universal Nutrition, Optimum Nourishment and BSN Supplements. Besides, we also use Muscular tissue Technology, Prolab Nourishment and Muscle Mass Fx. Our nutritional or food supplement or nutritional supplements are rigorously evaluated on diverse parameters to ensure their pureness.
    Hgh Hormonal Agent Treatment Faq:
    It’s stated to slow down the aging process and deal with age-related diseases. Nevertheless, study sustaining these claims is limited.HGH works by boosting metabolic processes in cells to activate metabolic process. It boosts the liver to make an insulin-like protein that creates cartilage cells.
    Composition of the optimum dual-loaded nanoparticles is presented below in Table 2. Development hormone was successfully drawn out from the human pituitary gland in 1957, but it was found to cause Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and death, so the medicine is no more made use of. [newline] Somatostatin, likewise known as GHIH (development hormone-inhibiting hormonal agent), is a peptide hormonal agent that controls the endocrine system and reduces the release of glucagon and insulin. Growth hormone disorders arise from either excessive or too little HGH. Hypersecretion of HGH from the pituitary results in gigantism or acromegaly. HGH shortage results in brief stature in children or GH shortage syndrome in grownups.

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