I’ve made reference to this in a previous post on Ownership but I’m here to say it again. And again. And again.
The purest form of Love is FREEDOM. It’s that simple. You want be loving, set yourself free, set your Beloved free. Engage with others in the spirit of freedom. Stop asking them show up in such a way in order to alleviate your fears, or keep you in the safe zone. Let your beloved be. Too often I am told you have to give up so much of yourself in order to be in a “relationship”, that’s a load of crap. You have to be present, yes, you have to be curious, yes, you have to be open, yes but you don’t have to give up what nourishes you. Why in the world would we ask of others to give up what makes them feel whole and alive in the name of love. I see people, and have seen myself give up hobbies, life giving routines, sacred practices, friendships, joy, independence if only to barely alleviate this black whole we refuse to acknowledge that we call trust. All of your cartwheels, your banging and clanging, the ruckus you make to keep people in the holding patterns that you are comfortable with are simply to avoid the vulnerability it takes to build real trust when relating. Say the truth of what you feel, what terrifies you, say the thing that you believe makes you ugly. Go ahead, be human, do that in that the name love. And watch love lend itself to you in unimaginable ways.
And then you will be free. You will be free and your beloved will be free. And you will both be free to love. Free to breath, free to exist and expand more and more into who you really are. From this kind of relating, only deep reverence can come whichever direction your paths take. Only then does beauty of relating match the beauty of a breathtaking sunset. When we are free to shine in authenticity we are our most beautiful.
In the words of Khalil Gibran on marriage:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.But let there be spaces in your togetherness,And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loafSing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.And stand together yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart,And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
Inspired from the teachings of Abraham & Anthony De Mello’s: A way to love