For those of you who have read, and are fans of my anecdote to Confessions of a Sex Kitten, here’s a train of thought(s), that expands on some concepts I elaborated on way back then. Albeit, somewhat still scattered, because if you know me, you know that I tend to let things like this marinate for a while before I put them out, but you will get my drift as you stay with the general idea.
Where I made reference to the power of woman’s intuition and her yin energy and the ability to be strong in ways that may be truer to the feminine persona than the generalized North American yang model of strength; I also pointed out the responsibility to love. And love in more ways than one. Right now, I’m thinking of: to love by letting go gracefully when we are called to stay true to our own needs and values.
Having just walked away from a very short and extremely intense relationship that has left me among many things pretty peeved and feeling kinda bruised up, I had yet to attach a meaning to this experience that brought me a sense of peace, of confidence, or purpose. I realized, that, like the reference in Confessions of a Sex Kitten about the woman who bad mouth’s men on one hand but has slept with them casually from a place of disconnection with the divine yin on the other, there’s a choice to be made. I say, for every woman who engages in those two behaviors, she has an opportunity to decide and demonstrate, on her behalf and on behalf of many other peers, that exchanges will be kept sacred when we choose to act as such, from a place of divine connection. The same applies to men of course as it’s dance engaged in two’s (remember I slipped it in, about holding people to a higher standard. AKA Be the change you wish to see in the world)
Well, I made a choice, on behalf of myself, and I dare to say, many other people, to walk away from an experience that I deemed to be tainted in deceit & dishonesty. I did so, as gracefully as my Grand Canyon heart could at this point. As much as I l experienced love in a way I could never even have dreamed of, I love light more, and value more the foundation of trust and respect in the sacred union of two. Just that thought fills me with a sense of peace & purpose. I chose with utmost love and desire to teach by way of my path, I chose to stand for what I believe in, I chose to stand for principles that rank high on creating a life of quality. I chose within the realm of light. I exercised my opportunity to teach by way of example. To teach those who are watching, male & female of how else we can love. And although my heart remains open to honesty & a sincere apology, I know that I basically put a message out there to at least one person (how beautiful it is that we are a microcosm of the universe), that we choose how we relate, and when we choose how we relate we influence how we create… the dance of two’s. And that choices that lean towards respecting one’s own integrity first & the integrity of the other are more likely to keep the music going and keep the pair of shoes together. (O:
I can now say that I am choosing to move forward in a way that serves me & extends beyond myself.
All because of learning to heed attention to the little screaming voice within.