1. The wise fool
  2. People like that: using inclusivity to avoid harmful generalizations
  3. Exercise is a privilege, not a chore
  4. Hardness VS Strength
  5. A Story About the Power of Giving
  6. The Joy of Cancer
  7. fade
  8. Huddled against each other
  9. The Gatekeepers of Humanity
  10. anyway
  11. Calling all teachers
  12. Caged
  13. How does the light get in?
  14. Early Spring
  15. Stacking up with open hearts
  16. The skin you didn’t know you had
  17. To be sorry
  18. Dear you
  19. Worthless – an interlude
  20. One question
  21. the story told by the triad
  22. the weight of the world
  23. The New Fair
  24. Befriending One’s Soul
  25. pulse
  26. Stay close, listen for my whispers
  27. because (prisoner released from rules)
  28. you
  29. sometimes
  30. The Way Out is Through
  31. Givers, takers and…
  32. Tear down the dams
  33. drop by drop
  34. Rising from the ashes
  35. One of the faces of courage
  36. unparalleled
  37. Where are you headed?
  38. You don’t owe them anything
  39. Restitution
  40. Technicolor
  41. Female Beingness
  42. Haters Gonna Hate
  43. How to heal a broken heart
  44. rainwater
  45. It’s almost never about you
  46. empty fullness
  47. indestructible
  48. Summer Nights
  49. Sowing seeds
  50. Perched
  51. your heart shaped box
  52. The Hollywood Fallacy
  53. Only
  54. Pacing Ourselves to Ensure Success
  55. traces
  56. Are we there yet?
  57. claimed
  58. breathing life
  59. Learning to fly
  60. icy mornings and summer walks
  61. The race to finish vs progress
  62. unraveled
  63. The time factor in relationships
  64. The seeds of your empire
  65. “Shoulding” all over others
  66. Apples and Oranges
  67. It’s here! It’s here!
  68. What women really want…
  69. a man’s heart
  70. Relationship ROI
  71. fingertips
  72. purple
  73. coming home
  74. near and far, now and again
  75. If you dare
  76. Actions follow feelings
  77. tri-colored comfort
  78. the secrets she whispers
  79. Look for what you are looking for
  80. love first, question after
  81. You’re not gonna get it done all at one once
  82. The Power of Being Human
  83. slowly
  84. The importance of depth
  85. the man’s secret weapon
  86. What I know for sure
  87. open wider than the hurt
  88. to live with an open heart
  89. not an overnighter…
  90. LIFE STARTS CLAPPING
  91. Why is a great question, when used properly.
  92. So you want more?
  93. Sipping Orzo
  94. the space between the knuckles
  95. something worth seeking out
  96. grounded
  97. the ship and the ocean
  98. Surrender
  99. The handstand metaphors
  100. A different kind of pregnant…
  101. Shimmering
  102. Felipe
  103. Felipe
  104. 1+1=?
  105. when you’re not looking
  106. The other way around it?
  107. A Family Christmas
  108. Could vs Should
  109. love as freedom
  110. just a thought
  111. discovery
  112. wasted
  113. Unmarked Boxes (Rumi)
  114. The Violin and its Melody
  115. A wise man does first what a foolish man does last.
  116. Dance me!
  117. like a cactus in the desert
  118. What do I need to stop doing?
  119. Look forward, take one step closer
  120. Unconditional conditions
  121. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer
  122. Facing one’s fear
  123. holding
  124. How to Tell the Rain
  125. narrow country highways
  126. The Way to Love…
  127. Stomping at Puddles
  128. Magic Moments
  129. In sync with Yoga
  130. The identity label..
  131. The Daily Workout
  132. The Joy of Freedom (redefined)
  133. Without You
  134. In the Palm of Your Hand
  135. Liz Gilbert on Creativity
  136. Lost – David Waggoner
  137. A shortcoming,… really?!?!?!
  138. Spiaggia di Notte – Midnight Beaches
  139. Accountability
  140. Quick tip to make your life easier boys
  141. A way to live (while you’re still alive)
  142. The love of a woman…
  143. People Watching for the Soul
  144. moment to moment
  145. The ♥ Files
  146. The Guesthouse ~Rumi
  147. Rocking a Woman’s Heart and Soul
  148. Guy vs Guy or Girl vs Guy
  149. Going back to move forward
  150. it’s no wonder
  151. On Men
  152. Leave the world better than you found it…
  153. The BAD places we visit
  154. What really changes the world? Jessica Jackely nails it!
  155. The Power of the Big Picture
  156. walking away
  157. lovely knows
  158. wrapped in white sheets
  159. childhood memories
  160. morning shelter
  161. lips, perched on the edge of a cliff
  162. beyond words …
  163. An Empowering Metaphor
  164. Taking Back Control
  165. The Joy of Freedom
  166. Relating Outside Your Imaginary Lines
  167. More on trust…
  168. Eyes Wide Open
  169. Painting of the Mind
  170. my own meditation
  171. lovely,
  172. Divine Inquisition
  173. Common Sense Nervousness?
  174. a quickie for the boys…
  175. Expansive Intentions
  176. She sat there 772
  177. On Trust
  178. 2011!!!! Ohhh yeeahhhhhh!!!!
  179. Brene Brown on Vulnerability: A MUST SEE
  180. Befriending the Void
  181. standing still
  182. On Being Open
  183. The Observer Effect
  184. Seth’s Wisdom on Inspiration
  185. The Human Body
  186. Open Sesame
  187. The path between friend is measured not in miles but in memories
  188. From CYA to relating like a Linchpin
  189. Life IS messy. That’s the whole point.
  190. peace
  191. To Take it Back
  192. Have to, Have to, Have to…
  193. stillness
  194. Essence of a woman via Coelho’s latest 10 second read
  195. someone else’s feet
  196. Controversial, for sure
  197. as deep as canyon
  198. goodbyes
  199. On relating in truth
  200. effortless
  201. Endings…
  202. In loving memory
  203. The Art of Love
  204. Shades of Green
  205. Q&A with James Archambault
  206. …just me…
  207. The purest form of love
  208. Pebbles at my Window
  209. letting in
  210. So you want in?
  211. Everyday Heroes
  212. Through his eyes
  213. scorned
  214. Being
  215. The Alchemy of the Sun
  216. Crevices
  217. Crystal clear preferences…
  218. flaws
  219. By the Willows
  220. The Human Connection
  221. Smooth Curve Ahead
  222. time is timeless, a story is written in the heart
  223. Why not answer the call?
  224. Creases
  225. Virabhadrasana
  226. Move it along, just move it along!
  227. Notice it and Let it Go
  228. Breathing space
  229. Garden Angel
  230. No Calculated Risk
  231. Ownership
  232. Follow the Chaos… somewhere over the Rainbow
  233. What’s it all for? Really?
  234. Pacing & Leading
  235. Church Bells
  236. There’s a crack, a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
  237. The purest love, loves without having
  238. Childlike behavior: a “precovery” strategy
  239. Bridging the Gap Between Two
  240. The Deciding Muscle Grows
  241. The Missing Piece
  242. Essence
  243. Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it.
  244. The Grand Canyon’s Heart
  245. The Church Bells said
  246. A good friends advice around “relationships”
  247. The Power of heeding to the voice of inner wisdom and using it to focus
  248. Presence
  249. Queen of Tides
  250. Reverie
  251. The Deciding Muscle
  252. Sorry, We’re Closed
  253. Chivalry. Dead?!?!?!… Think again!!!
  254. When creativity slips between your fingers
  255. Confessions of a Sex Kitten
  256. Think you need more money to perform better?
  257. Be the voice!

I think know someone who has experienced working really hard to achieve something really special or important to them  only to find themselves utterly dissatisfied after having achieved it.  They may even feel worse, because they thought this was the “it” that was going to make them happy, the goal, the cash, the relationship, the this, the that. Most of the dissatisfaction comes from the fact we are simply never done and we really just want to feel good. Read that article if you really jet want to cut the chase.

And unfortunately (in my opinion) we really can’t help the wanting more – whatever that it is, it’s human nature. Think of the female force to be reckoned with who first wants a relationship, THEN, she wants to get married, THEN, she wants the house, and Then a baby and another one…  Are you getting my point yet? Or do I need to give you the career scale example?

The good news is, there is one thing you can get really clear on (besides just wanting to feel good) that will make all this achieving worthwhile and may help you avoid the post-achievment crash.  One word: WHY.

WHY you want something is more important than what you want. More importantly, more than anything, it’s what will give you the clarity and resilience to get to where you want to go

Why is a great question, when used properly. When you know why you are doing something, why you want it so badly, for one, you’re giving yourself the juice you need to get to destination X AND you’re also more likely to be able to adjust as you go along if your WHY isn’t getting met, or, at the very least, minimizing the disappointment.

How will you know you’ve got what you want if you don’t know why you want it?

A friend of mine just worked his bare butt off, all the way to the rind and core to get somewhere only to find himself completely empty after having achieved it.  Lost, not knowing where he went wrong, he’s putting the pieces back together. I don’t think he was clear on why he was striving so hard to get there. When our why is clear, we at the very least know why we feel so disappointed. I said to him, “go back, retrace your steps and pull the picture and feelings you were expecting to have as a result of your endeavour. Does it match what you got? where you are?”

I recently took up dancing again after 13 years, this time, with a very clear “why”.  I know exactly what I want out of the experience, and I know that dancing brings that to me and out of me AND everything else that comes out of it is gravy.  I’m not very good (yet), well ok, one of my “pro” friends sais I just need to work on my 5 lol – but,  my “why” gets met every time and as a result, even though I’m not amazing (yet), i still feel amazing while and AFTER. I leave the experience with a sense of fulfilment.The picture of my now matches the picture I had for myself when I set out on this journey. Had I not been so clear on why I had chosen this means to achieving feeling good, I may have walked away with some disappointment.

 

Or, then again, maybe not, I have other tricks up my sleeve after all…. (O:

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2 Comments

walter March 8, 2012 at 1:08 am

Live day by day enjoy the Now! not thinking about the future, because the future does not exist, and the past is gone, therefore we can forget about the past.
the future will bring you the fruits that you are planting NOW at this very moment.
you loved the experience of dancing? good, you enjoyed that moment.
Lets think about that moment.
Close your eyes and i want you to think about sunday.
are your eyes closed?
Please close them and think about sunday, trap the moment in your fist, now slowly turn your hand and slowly open it. and tell me what you see?
I will tell you what you see.
You see happiness and why do you see happines?
very easy, you were not thinking about the past, and you weren’t thinking about the future. you were just enjoying your NOW.
why do you want to learn your 5? because we are humans, and we all look for perfection.
but perfection comes with the NOW.
if you dont start working on the 5 NOW you wont be able to dance 3 years from now
and in 3 years from NOW if you didn’t learn your 5 then you will be asking your self why didn’t I learn my 5?
please i dont want to say that i have the answer. not at all, i just found a way that makes me happy and makes people happy around me.
i love to see people smile, but i can only make them smile when i talk to them, not after i talked to them.
thats why my NOW is very important.

i like your blog keep on writing who knows one day we will dance together.

Best regards.

Walter Cifuentes

Suzy-Kim March 11, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Walter!!!! amazing feedback!!!! thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, on the dance floor, as it relates to me 5, and NOW as it relates to your philosophy on life. Your words are an excellent reminder and help put things into context – if we (I) day by day, moment to moment keep coming back to your philosophy our lives will feel so much more fulfilled. Amazing perspective! (O:

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